Self-Compassion: This Month's Self-Coaching Exercise
As a reminder, this year I chose to live in gentleness and, every month, I'm inviting you to explore, with me, a new way to make it real.
After inner peace (January), the words we speak to ourselves with love (February), a less cluttered life (March), reconnecting with my body (April), honoring my emotional truth (May), setting even more boundaries (June), creating for and in joy (July), resting without having earned it (August), gentle relationships (September), and trusting your inner voice (October), in November, I'm inviting myself, and you too, to the most natural next step there is: self-compassion.
Because listening to your inner voice is good. But it also has to speak to us with tenderness.
Why This Exercise Works
October taught me to listen. But what we hear inside isn't always gentle. Often, the loudest voice is our inner critic: “You should have.”, “Failed again.”, “You're not enough.”
We say things to ourselves that we would never dare say to a friend. And we call it high standards, clear-sightedness, sometimes even motivation.
Self-compassion isn't making excuses for yourself. It's not stopping moving forward either. It's recognizing that something is hard, without judging yourself on top of it, and answering yourself the way you'd answer someone you love.
A few guideposts that help me:
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's what gives us the energy to be there for others, when the time comes.
We don't have to be nice to everyone. But we can be nice to ourselves.
And we don't need to upend everything for things to change. One detail is enough: a gentler word, a pause, a hand on the heart.
I often think back to an idea I wrote a few years ago: learning to pamper yourself, as if you were dating yourself. Taking care of your little heart, because the love it holds is too precious to give to everyone while forgetting yourself along the way.
November's Journaling Exercise: Self-Compassion
This week, I'm giving you three simple steps.
Spot a harsh thought you've directed at yourself recently. Write it down word for word, just as it came, without softening it.
Imagine a close friend confides the exact same thought to you, about herself. What would you say to her? Write that answer in your gentlest tone.
Open your notebook and answer this question:
What gentle sentence do I need to hear right now?
You don't need to write much. One sentence is enough. Copy it onto a note, and reread it every morning this week. You'll see: the more you hear it, the more self-compassion becomes a reflex.
Why Journaling Stays With Me Every Month
If there's one constant this year, it's my notebook. Every month, it's what let me turn an intention into an action.
Journaling helped me choose my words with love in February, declutter my mind in March, name what I was feeling in May, set my boundaries in June, allow myself rest in August, observe what soothes me in September, and listen to my inner voice in October.
Writing slows things down. Writing clarifies. And writing lets us speak to ourselves differently, with no filter and no audience. Rereading, a few weeks later, often means noticing we were already treating ourselves with more gentleness.
To support you, two of my notebooks are especially fitting: the Happiness Journal to note down each day what's done you good, and the Success Journal to keep track of what you've accomplished, without judging yourself on what's left to do. And for your gentle sentence of the day, the Carnet de Notes Positives Madras & Colibris or Madras & Hibiscus. They're available in the shop.
I'll meet you again at the end of the month to share how I lived this exercise, and this November, myself.
To never miss an article, subscribe to the Happy Newsletter. And to start your November exercise, the Happiness Journal and the Success Journal are waiting for you in the shop.
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